Bless Me Father
by margaret aka whymelucylu
Summary: Fresh POV dealing with a member of the Plum Family. What is this family member really hiding from our view? Humor. Babe. AU/AR
1. Chapter 1

_**Bless Me Father.**_

**Prologue...**

**Unknown POV.**

Days like today have me hating my job, maybe that's too strong of a word come to think of it.

Maybe what I am looking for is a way to put it where Hate is not a factor.

How about 'disliking my job, bordering on such an intensity it's close to hatred.'

Much better.

My boss sent me here, to Trenton New Jersey specifically to find out _what exactly is causing the turnover_ of epic proportions.

And since I'm low man on the totem pole, my job easily led me to figuring it out pretty damn quick.

I was assigned just one task besides learning what was causing the turnover...was it working conditions?

What the hell was going on?

Lack of preparedness?

_**What?**_

Excuse the swearing.

Here comes the reason right now.

Sighing, I get ready to do my job.

Situating myself on the chair, I have to start breathing in and out in a calm manner.

That's what the local doctor told me.

Hearing just _**what my one job was, he immediately wrote out a prescription for 'nerve calming medicine,' and since my job was on a regular basis, taking a pill a couple of hours ahead of time, would 'help me greatly' was what he said.**_

Reduce Stress if possible.

I don't see how that IS possible when the job I have to do is geared specifically for this one occasion.

I hear the door open, then softly close.

It's show time.

Opening just a crack, I hear the voice I have come to dread ever since I arrived here in Trenton, New Jersey.

"Bless Me Father, for I have sinned," the voice of none other than Helen Plum.

_**My name is Father Sullivan, Matt to you.**_

_**This is my story.**_

_**The chapters you are about to read are true.**_

_**No names have been changed to protect anyone.**_

_**And Helen Mazur Plum is certainly not innocent.**_

_**My job is to listen to Helen Mazur Plum's confession each and every day she visits me.**_

_**Now, it's also your job, dear Reader, to follow along and leave your thoughts and reviews.**_

x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

A/N. not mine

well, Father Sullivan is mine, courtesy of Ms. Tammie who shared her imagination with me as I plotted this little ditty out. Once again, I had to drag Ms. Shelley into it as well with her BOLD red pen.

AU AU AU


	2. Chapter 2

How Many Times?

Previously;

Opening just a crack, I hear the voice I have come to dread ever since I arrived here in Trenton, New Jersey.

"Bless Me Father, for I have sinned," the voice of none other than Helen Plum.

xoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoox

"Good Morning, Helen. Please tell me just how you have 'sinned' today," I said to my one and only parishioner.

"I'm guilty of saying something to someone I ran into at the deli is all, Father. Nothing of importance actually. But it's been a few days since I was last here, and I thought you would be proud of me for explaining my 'sins' to you," Helen told me. Continuing on she _further_ said "I mean after all, I do need someone to talk to since there is no one else living with me."

"Helen, Helen, Helen, how many times have I told you that we need to work on your 'rose colored glasses' you seem to have on all time?" I just had to ask.

As I listened to the usual mutterings coming from the other side of the confessional booth, I couldn't help but reflect on what I was told over breakfast this morning...after all what is said in the confessional stays between the Priest and their parishioner.

_**That has nothing to do over the meal table we all share, come to find out.**_

_**We have our own gossip chain going on. It's how we can tell what's in the 'NOW' and what is the delusional makeup of our parishioner's after all.**_

_**Flashback Father Sullivan's POV...**_

"Matt, Mrs. G. told me what happened between herself and Mrs. H in front of the deli. It was supposed to be a 'beaut' if that's even a word.

Ever since papers were filed by her husband, Mrs. H has been 'on a mission' to find him. So she accosted Mrs. G; berating her up and down the sidewalk. Mrs. H's face turned so red when she accused Mrs G. of withholding information. Called her a 'harpy housewife' for telling everyone she was almost a divorced woman. You really need to get a hold of Mrs. H and her temper, something's bound to happen one of these days," Father O'Connell told me.

With a shrug of my shoulders, I told my fellow comrades that 'Mrs. H just can't seem to grasp the idea that most of the mess going on in her life, is that of her own making. I keep trying, but nothing seems to be working.'

Seeing the Priest's face I was closest to since arriving here in Trenton break out in a wide grin, I couldn't help but ask him, "How on earth did you survive being the Father Confessor to Helen Plum?"

He just stood up, patted me on the back and said, "I transferred in after she had been assigned to someone else my boy. Sheer luck, I reckon."

_**End of Flashback...**_

Father Sullivan's POV.

"Helen, why don't you tell me exactly what you mean by 'saying something to someone' as your sin you are confessing to?"

Clearing her throat, Helen told me that, "Really it's nothing Father, I just bumped into someone, and asked her about Frank is all. I might have mentioned something like that to her is all. So you see, there is nothing for you to worry about, Father. As a matter of fact, I don't really feel the need to be talking to you anymore about this 'silly incident,' it's water under the bridge, don't you think so?" Helen ended with that question to me.

Slowly. I found myself slowly breathing in and out.

Just like my doctor prescribed.

Keeping calm and with my voice steady I asked Helen, "Is that the story you are sticking with Helen?"

"Why of course, Father. Why not?" Helen replied.

In through my nose, out my mouth, I let three deep breathes escape before I could say to her anything that would not become gibberish to her.

Or to me.

"Helen, did or _did you not_ call someone a 'harpy housewife' for talking about you? Out on the sidewalk, no less? How many people saw your face turn red when you were making slanderous allegations yourself? I thought you had accepted the fact that it was _you, yourself_ that caused your marriage to collapse?" I asked my ONLY parishioner.

"H...Ho...How on earth _did you even find this out_, Father Sullivan? I can't believe I have people talking about ME. Out of all the people in the neighborhood, WHY is it always about ME? What have I ever done to them to deserve gossip about MY OWN LIFE?" Helen was now shrieking.

Her voice echoing in my little booth, I had to shake my head to get the ringing out of my ears. The volume had increased to such levels that I thought I needed to get some earplugs on my next trip to Sam's Warehouse.

I idly wondered to myself if they sold them by the cases, like they advertised.

"Helen, you have disappointed me. I had hoped by your penance I gave you last time, your lying to me would have embarrassed you to the point you would start telling me the truth. I see that has had no effect on you whatsoever. I would like for your penance this time to be a formal apology to the person you slandered. And not just a 'sorry' like you did last week either. Have no fear, Helen, for I will find out whether or not you did what I said. Please, go forth and Sin no more," I told her in a much steadier voice.

"Very well, Father. I will do as you ask me, although I really can't imagine how just writing the word _**sorry**_ isn't penance enough," Helen replied.

"_**Please Helen, Go and try your best not to sin anymore**_," the words coming from me in such a rush.

"I'll be sure to come back and talk to you some more Father Sullivan. I just can't _**Thank You **_enough for helping me these past few weeks. I can say I honestly never thought I would find such a good man as you ever since Father Stevens left weeks ago. To tell the truth, I was thinking of finding another Parish to attend, but like a miracle from above, I found _**YOU.**_ Just like an angel from above, you appeared. Take care now, your breathing is becoming labored again, perhaps you need to go lay down, Father," Helen said.

I heard the confessional booth door open and close softly.

I think I found the reason for the rise in sabbaticals at this church; One Helen Mazur Plum.

In one fell swoop, over the course of just mere months, Priest's have left for various reasons.

Stress.

Nerves.

Eye Twitches brought on by stress; nerves almost to the point of snapping.

I only wonder how long I'll be able to hold on for.

Slowly I made my way to my sparse room.

My focus landed on several thick books, placed right in the middle of bedside table.

Picking up the note laying on top of the books, I couldn't help but grin when I read:

_**Matt,**_

_**Study the books when you have time.**_

_**Very informative.**_

_**Every Priest in this Parish has left notes for their successors.**_

_**Everything you ever wanted to know about Helen Plum you will find in these books. As much as she let slip and what we've heard over the years anyway.**_

_**Good Luck.**_

_**Don't forget to add your notes to your own book; I left one in the top drawer of your dresser.**_

_**Keep me informed.**_

_**Hopefully you'll make better progress than those that went before you.**_

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

AU/AR.

No disrespect intended for those of you lovely readers that are Catholic.

Thanks to Tammie for reading ahead, and Ms. Shelley and her BOLD RED PEN.

Well, did you smile?


	3. Chapter 3

Learning About Helen.

_**Previously;**_

_**Matt,**_

_**Study the books when you have time.**_

_**Very informative.**_

_**Every Priest in this Parish has left notes for their successors.**_

_**Everything you ever wanted to know about Helen Plum you will find in these books. As much as she let slip and what we've heard over the years anyway.**_

_**Good Luck.**_

_**Don't forget to add your notes to your own book; I left one in the top drawer of your dresser.**_

_**Keep me informed.**_

_**Hopefully you'll make better progress than those that went before you.**_

_**xoxooxoxooxoxoxooxox**_

I laid back on my twin bed, contemplating how on earth Mrs. Plum had ostracized everyone in her life.

But now I was well on my way to learning just that.

I opened the book and randomly picked a place to start from, it looked like I hit the jackpot when the first page said;

_To Whom Ever is reading this...I can't take it anymore. I can summarize Helen Mazur's life easily with everything I know. But I won't, for I want you poor dumb suckers to learn it up close and personal._

_I've had her and her fiancee' for pre marital counseling and come to find out they've already started on the 'between the sheets part.' At least that's what her fiance' said._

_The rush to get married is on from the Bride only, the groom doesn't seemed to concerned about it as he is a 'lapsed' Catholic. Believing in Heaven and Hell, he slipped up when we were alone and said,'being married to Helen WILL be my Hell, Father.'_

_**Poor boy regrets THAT night,**__ while Helen is badgering me for not having a closer date, thus getting married when she's almost five months pregnant._

_I told her that there is always the courthouse; there is nothing wrong with that. _

_Helen just sat there with a pinched look on her face and said, "Honestly Father, I was at Angie and Anthony Morelli's wedding. I need to have a Church wedding,"_

_I asked her why she needs a Church wedding so very badly, and Helen told me, "I've already told everyone Frank and I were getting married in the church, that's why."_

_**A knock on my door, interrupted my reading. Standing up, I made sure to mark my place in the book.**_

_**A card was handed to me by my boss. **_

_**"Call this number, you will find out all you need to know before you even start reading the books," turning around he left as quietly as he came.**_

_**I looked down and saw**_

_**RANGEMAN.**_

_**Flipping the card over, I saw a name and a number.**_

_**Out of state, I seemed to recall the area code of a long ago Parish I had.**_

_**FLORIDA...Stephanie Manoso. Formerly known as Stephanie Plum.**_

_**I reached for my phone and it rang three times before being picked up.**_

_**"Hello, may I help you?"**_

_**"I would like to speak to Mrs. Stephanie Manoso please." I said.**_

_**"Speaking, how may I help you?"**_

"Mrs. Manoso, my name is Father Sullivan, Matt if you would be so kind as to call me that. Formality is not my strong suit. Is it possible for you and your husband to talk to me? I'm the newest Priest assigned to your mother's confessional each and every time she comes to church. I have some questions and frankly, I need help."

I heard a click in my ear, "I see. I've switched this to speaker phone and both my husband and I are listening. Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Manoso. You can call him Ranger, if you'd like. And, I have a feeling this will be a long conversation, Matt."

The next voice said with some humor in it, "We were wondering when you'd be calling, Matt. After all my wife and I know her mother _**quite well. She's the reason we no longer live in Trenton. Why don't you call me Ranger like my Babe suggested?"**_

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

_**AU**_

_**AR**_

_**THOUGHTS?**_

_**Thanks Ms. Elaine for your bold red pen, and help changing my thoughts around to a more readable chapter...and Ms. Tammie for Reading ahead...**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Matt Finds Out (Part one.)**_

Previously;

The next voice said with some humor in it, "We were wondering when you'd be calling, Matt. After all, my wife and I know her mother _**quite well. She's the reason we no longer live in Trenton. Why don't you call me Ranger like my Babe suggested?"**_

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

From everything Helen has ever said about her daughter being married to a 'street criminal,' I guess I was shocked into silence.

"Matt, Matt, are you still there?" Stephanie asked me.

"Of course, I was thinking back to over what your mother said when she described her family is all," I told the couple.

A cooing baby could be heard in the background, soft murmuring were heard as well.

"I'm sorry, should I call back," I asked the young couple.

Ranger told me, "No, it's quite alright. My mother has taken over the Grandma duties. With a big grin on her face as well, so we can talk now in private."

I had to ask the question, after all it was sitting on the tip of my tongue to do so, "Has Helen ever seen her Grandson, at all? Even a picture?"

"Of course she has, but according to my Grandma, she ripped it in two saying, 'I only have granddaughters, not a street thug Grandson, living in a God forsaken state.'

After overcoming my emotions when I heard what Helen said, I explained to them:

"You see the thing is, I was sent to this Parish Church to find out exactly _**why more and more Priests who just arrive turn around and claim emotional distress and ask for a Sabbatical after just a few longest Priest lasted over a year, and come to find out, he just shut his hearing aid off."**_

_**We all chuckled over that thought before I continued on.**_

_**"**_The _**one and only thing they had in common was**_ listening to your mother's confession three times a week. What I have realized is that **Helen's description doesn't match the reality of the situation at all.** Now, I must admit the stress of listening to her 'chatter' has also had me seeking out a doctor and getting pills just to be able to calm down when I spoke to her. We all have our own mantra's here at the church and mine happens to be repeating to myself, '_**This Too Shall Pass**_,' and eventually your mother does wind down. However, I have started to ask her what REALLY happened. The other Priest's in the 'know' fill me in on the situation before your mother comes to 'confess her sins.' I must say Stephanie, I've never met a more opinionated woman such as Helen."

Ranger asked me if I "had a pen and some paper, and enough time for him to give me some highlights on his mother-in-law," when I had a knock on my door.

With a crook of his finger, I knew what that meant by Father Thomas, giving a sigh, I had to tell them "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Manoso, but it seems like your mother is here to confess _**AGAIN**_. Hopefully, according the calendar I have in my room here, this should be it for the week. I did give her a penance to do, I can only hope she wrote more than _**SORRY**_ this time_**. **_Might I trouble you again for help, perhaps tomorrow at a certain time?"

"Matt," Stephanie said. "Please, call us Ranger and Steph, no need for formality. I'm sure we'll be around for you to call anytime you need to. But, now that you mention it, why don't you _**ask Helen what she did to my Father and his new wife?**_ Then we can fill you in when we talk again, how's that? Rest assured, her reality is not the real deal. Good Luck Matt, we wish you well."

I could hear both the couple's laughter in my ear.

Making a sign of the cross, I made sure to pop a pill on my way out the door.

_**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**_

_**AU **_

_**AR**_

_**did you laugh?**_

_**thanks to Elaine and her red pen...and the girls for reading ahead...had to make sure they laughed...aka Cindy Lou and of course Tammie...**_

A/N. to the guest that said i needed to quit writing about Helen, blah blah blah...we all have certain passions about writing for plum land, if you take a look at my avatar, maybe YOU WILL get a GRIP and quit reading. and SIGN IN why don't you instead of being so lame to hide behind a guest review? geez


	5. Chapter 5

_**Help!**_

Previously;

_**..."ask Helen what she did to my Father and his new wife?**_ Then we can fill you in when we talk again, how's that? Rest assured, her reality is not the real deal. Good Luck Matt, we wish you well."

I could hear both the couple's laughter in my ear.

Making a sign of the cross, I made sure to pop a pill on my way out the door.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**I graduated seminary school with honors at Saint Mary's in Ohio, I went so far as to attend their Graduate school as well. Reflecting back on the courses I took to get my Graduate degree in Theology, I never remembered taking any that prepared me for dealing with a parishoner who was 1/2 degree from being 'bat shit crazy.'**

**Walking towards the front of the Church where I knew Helen was waiting for me, I felt a hand on my arm as I passed our community kitchen. Looking into Father Bart's eyes, I felt his compassion for my dilemma.**

**"Sit down Matt, and have a rest. I take it you were on the phone with Mrs. Manoso, Helen's youngest daughter. Stephanie was always such a handful when she was younger, not so much for Frank, but she put her mother through the wringer. Which Helen never let her forget about either, **_**but that's another question you can ask her about sometime.**_** Helen is visiting with someone in the common area, while waiting on you anyway. Besides that, I've got a most interesting story to tell you that just happened recently concerning, Helen Plum. I'm not sure just how far you've gotten in the books and all we left you but rest assured, my news is more up to date than what is written."**

**I leaned forward, all of a sudden my interest was spiked as I remembered what Stephanie told me.**

**To 'ask Helen what she did to my father and his new wife.'**

**Could this be the help I needed?**

**I leaned back in my chair, grateful for the water and sandwich placed in front of me, and I felt my pill starting to go to work, loosening up my temperament, if you will. "I'm at a loss here, as to what to ask Helen. She tells me one thing, I hear something different. Then come to find out both are right and somewhat wrong at the same time. Do you know about what Helen did to her former husband and his new wife? **_**I won't know what's true or not until I can call back her daughter, Mrs. Manoso."**_

**Bart gave a snort of laughter to me, and said, "Boy, I can do you one better, but first you need a pen and paper for what I'm about to tell you. It's the condensed version, but still Helen will never admit to it, so this way you can ask her yourself, and assign the penance you wish, for this WILL NEED a penance since it happened a few months before you arrived here. We were just waiting to see who the sucker, I mean Priest was that she was going to get."**

**Handing me paper and pen, I began to write down what Father Bart told me. In a way I could admire Helen for being so wily, but she did it for her own purpose.**

**"Thank you Bart, this will be a great help to me. First I need to make sure Helen actually did the penance I assigned her last time for insulting Mrs. G in front of the deli. Helen refuses to acknowledge she is a divorced woman now, and is trying to get information out of everyone and anyone she runs across, thinking they have knowledge of where Mr. Plum is living. Hopefully the man and his new wife moved far away is all I am praying for at this time. If Helen really did all this," waving the paper around with my notes, "I hesitate to think what she would do to someone she really had it in for."**

**"By the way, Matt, we've decided to start a support group for all you that are going through or have gone through the Helen trial-by-fire. Our first meeting is tomorrow night, are you interested?"**

**Before I knew it the words "Hell yeah, count me in," slipped out of my mouth.**

**Making the sign of contrition, I rose from my kneeling position in front of Bart. "Matt," he clapped me on my back,"think nothing of it, we've all been where you are now, we thank the Good Lord Above, its not us listening to her anymore."**

**"Now, go and find out what Helen has to say about THAT," pointing to the paper in my hand. I believe you'll find Helen stretching the truth and giving you her own version. Come find me, when you're done, how's that? I have some wine chilling in my room."**

**A final nod of his head saw me watching Bart walk away. Knowledge is power. I have the proof that Helen Mazur Plum is getting closer to 'bat shit crazy' right here in my hand.**

**Time for confession.**

**I came upon Helen with her back to me, but I could hear her voice plain as day, "Can you believe it Angie? Why can I never get in touch with even my mother these days?It seems like she went to Florida to stay with the 'Manoso' family." Helen's voice took on a sneering quality at saying her own daughter's last name.**

**Clearing my throat behind her, I let Helen know I heard what she said, and I could feel her eyes on my back as I entered our confessional booth.**

**"Bless me Father, for I have sinned..." Helen's words went in one ear and out the other.**

**I was twirling the paper between my fingers as I asked her, "Tell me Helen, did you perform the penance I instructed you to, for Mrs. G? And if I call her right this very minute, will she tell me you apologized to her personally, or was that you that slid a paper under her door saying "I'm REAL sorry, and it was all underlined? Without your signature? **_**In Red Crayon?"**_

xoxooxoxoxoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxox

au

ar

not mine...and many thanks to Elaine who is now working on a national advertising campaign...and helping me out at the same time...and Ms. Tammie for reading ahead.

:) You girls are the best!


	6. Chapter 6

_**What Is The Truth, Helen?**_

Previously:

I was twirling the paper between my fingers as I asked her, "Tell me Helen, did you perform the penance I instructed you to, for Mrs. G? And if I call her right this very minute, will she tell me you apologized to her personally, or was that you that slid a paper under her door, saying 'I'm REAL sorry, and it was underlined? Without your signature? _**In Red Crayon?"**_

xoxoxooxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoxoxooxoxoxox

The only reason I know Helen did that, was Mrs. G was here to earlier Mass and told everyone that she thought she was being stalked. After all, it turned out Mrs. G lived in Stephanie Manoso's old apartment. It wouldn't be the first time someone showed up at her apartment. Thankfully Rangeman had left the cameras in place, knowing the older folks would sleep better since Stephanie no longer lived there.

Thanks to Rangeman, we now had pictures.

I personally was going to ask them of what other 'evidence' they had photo-wise of what Helen was up to around town. I had a meeting with a man called Hal tomorrow morning. He and his wife, Cindy Lou who has been helping Rangeman out (and me) by 'blending in' and following the ding bat.

I mean Helen.

Breathe In. Breathe Out.

I looked at my watch and saw I could safely take another 1/2 pill now. Luckily I brought my bottle of water with me for just this reason.

_**It was what Helen said next that about had me spewing water out of my nose:**_

_"How on earth did you find that out? Let's say it was me that did that, at least I did my penance. I can't help it that all I could find were the crayons that Angie and Mary Alice left at my home. I was on a __**deadline, for Pete Sake.**_ For crying out loud, I did what you said, it's not my fault Mrs. G wasn't awake at midnight. Who

knew folks slept at that hour anyway?"

I was so anxious to get to my talk with her that I said, "Your sin of harassing Mrs. G. has been forgiven, however I've heard about something pertaining to you. Would you be willing to talk to me about your past behavior? Can you actually turn over a new leaf in your life, Helen? Better yet, do you even want to?"

I heard a snort coming from her side of the booth.

"Depends on what you are talking about, Father. I mean, I live alone now. I have hardly any visitors, unless you count the Morelli family. Angie and Bella are just lovely women. We've been working on a 'project' together. It keeps me young, having to use my brain, almost like I'm outwitting an opponent or something."

Time to hit Helen with some cold hard facts:

"_**Is it true Helen, that you purchased a listening device over the internet? That you somehow got said device delivered to Radio Shack and had Mike the technician show you how to turn it on and off? Not To mention, once you turned it on...you went to the Florist shop, purchased a plant and had it delivered to Valerie's house? With the Delivery boy, YOU PAID OFF to say, he 'had no address for your former husband'? **_

_**Valerie then called your ex-husband to pick it up, thereby giving you information on his private life with his new wife?**_" I had to stop with the questions. It was when I asked the following to her, that she about fell apart.

"_**Tell me then Helen, how you just 'happened' to see Frank and his wife at the deli shopping for their weekly meals? How you ran across them at the park, while feeding the ducks? How is it you just showed up where they were? That is, **_until Stephanie was called, and wasn't it _**Steph and her husband Ranger that suggested dousing water on the plant? Since that was the 'gift' they got right before the 'stalking' started by you and your co-horts?"**_

The screeching from the confessional box was becoming so loud my ears were ringing.

"Lies! Lies! I tell you Father Matt, those are all lies. I couldn't do that. I have no idea to work a computer, how dare someone lie about me? Do you know who I am? Why, I'm _**Helen Plum**_, from Chambersburg! I wouldn't do that."

If I could I would have reached in the thru the partition and stuffed a sock in her mouth.

But my next words were just as effective:

"_**I have Proof."**_

_**xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**_

_**not mine**_

_**AU**_

_**AR**_

_**thanks again to Ms. Elaine (Proudofyoubabe) and Ms. Tammie (Lilyghost) for their help...**_

_**can you hear my evil cackle from here in Lawrence Kansas?**_

_**TBC~~~~**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Helen. Helen. Helen. Tsk. Tsk.**_

If I could I would have reached in the thru the partition and stuffed a sock in her mouth.

But my next words were just as effective:

"_**I have Proof."**_

xoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoox

I will be damned.

Probably just for thinking that word, but damn nothing shut Helen up quicker than telling her 'I have Proof.'

Proof that it was her and Angie Morelli skulking around Trenton, following Frank Plum and his new wife.

Why else would they even _go into, much less be seen at the new home improvement store on the edge of Trenton?_

"Helen, I've heard of you and your little 'posse' of friends that have been following your ex-husband around all over Trenton. You learned where Mr. and _**the new**_ Mrs. Plum were going to be, and just 'happened' to show up. Lurking around corners, watching them interact with each other. Did you not think your secret would come out at all? _**After all your son-in-law just happens to be the one person you can never outwit."**_

Helen replied, her voice rising up an octave _or three_, "But that's impossible, ever since _that daughter of mine_, left New Jersey, they have never been back, at least _**not from what I heard."**_

_**Ah-ha! Now I was getting somewhere.**_ "How on earth would you _hear_ if the Manoso family was coming back, unless you yourself was the person that had the listening device in the plant? I have to give you credit Helen, that was a good way to go about it. But you see, _your ex-husband_ caught on pretty quickly and called his son-in-law once he saw you. You ladies with your hats and pearls over your dresses kind of gave that away. So when Mr. Manoso told Frank to pour water over the plant, that most likely _**YOU**_ yourself were responsible,THAT was when you lost all your information. You lost your ability to control him. Pictures that won't show you in the best of light, will they, Helen?"

I was on a roll with Mrs. Plum; I could actually spend hours with her. I had my timer set for the next time my pill was due so I just kept right on going:

_**"Tell me Helen, **_why on earth do you even care about your ex-husband? From what I've been told, you're the one that kicked him out. Wasn't that the time you ramped up your own views on Stephanie's relationship with Mr. Manoso? About the time you were seen over at Angie Morelli's home numerous times? When you became 'thick as thieves' with the Morelli women? I was driving by your neighborhood and in passing by your own house, I noticed the For Sale sign. Is it true you are moving in with the Morelli women, Angie and Bella? _**Tsk. Tsk**_. _**What will the neighbor's say when they find out Helen Plum is now a guest of the Morelli home?**_ Will they say, 'those three women deserve each other? Or, how about, 'Helen never should have sold her house, those three women will be driving each other to drink? Or how about, I wonder why Helen doesn't go live with her daughter Valerie? Oh that's right, she moved to Newark to get away from her own mother." I said, my voice rising in cadence with Helen's.

Breathe In.

Breathe Out.

"Helen, your penance for spying on your _ex-husband_ all over the Burg is:

I will be expecting you every day from three until five PM for the next week here in 'our booth,' _**is that understood?"**_

Helen's volume increased as she said thru our partition, " _**But that's happy hour Father! Drinks are two-for-one, I can't miss that. Why, I just got my own barstool!"**_

"See you tomorrow Helen, and _try_ not to be late," I said, leaving the confessional booth.

_**xoxoooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**_

_**Many thanks to Ms. Elaine aka Proudofyoubabe for reading ahead and correcting with her lovely red pen.**_

_**Ms. Lilyghost aka Ms. Tammie, hope you laughed.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Waiting

_**Previously:**_

Helen's volume increased as she said thru our partition, " _**But that's happy hour Father! Drinks are two-for-one, I can't miss that. Why, I just got my own barstool!"**_

"See you tomorrow Helen, and _try_ not to be late," I said, leaving the confessional booth.

_**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**_

"Thank you both for helping me," I told Hal and his wife, Cindy Lou. "I really appreciate all this information, but tell me, how on earth did you find out Helen had her own drink named after her? I mean it seems appropriate, being called the _**'stark raving madwoman'**_ but to find out it's named after her, how did that happen?"

Cindy replied with a cheeky grin, "Oh that's easy, Hal took me on a date there, and we just asked for 'whatever the Helen Plum special was' and the name came out from the bartender."

Hal snorted at his wife's comment. 'Actually, my wife and I have date nights twice a week, even being married, the date nights are a no brainer. Cindy got the pictures of Helen and Angie following Frank around town. Then she got real suspicious when Bella joined in the mix. Hence, the pictures of Bella keying the Plum's car."

Hal continued on, "You know, with Helen already halfway moved into the Morelli home, it'll be easier to keep track of those three. And since Frank and his wife have been stalked that restraining order should be issued by the latest tomorrow. That is, _**if Helen can find the safe house we moved them into."**_

"Perfect! At least I know Mr. and Mrs. Plum are safe. The wheels of justice sometimes run rather slow around here, but having Rangeman with the evidence no doubt will be something Helen tells me all about today in confession. I expect Helen to be with me, in our own confessional booth from 3 PM to 5 PM for a week." I told the couple, sitting in front of me.

"Bless you my children, without you, I would've been reading forever the journals left for me from the other Priests. Now, with this new information, maybe Helen can be talked into some form of counseling. _** Something. Anything. It will be better than nothing."**_ Standing up, I shook hands with the couple from Rangeman.

It was 2:30 PM when I made my heavily medicated way to the confessional booth. Looking over the pictures again and again, I couldn't help but notice the time creeping closer to the 3 PM mark.

Sighing to myself, I did my deep breathing exercises.

I couldn't help but remember Helen's last words to me yesterday :

" _**But that's happy hour Father! Drinks are two-for-one, I can't miss that. Why, I just got my own barstool!"**_

_**'Surely the Church was more important to Helen than being boozed up,' **_I thought to myself.

Time crept by.

3:01 PM

3:05 PM

On and on the time passed.

Finally a knock.

Only it was on my side of the booth.

Opening the door, I saw my boss standing there with a smirk on his face.

Hearing the greatest news ever, I about collapsed on my knees thanking the Blessed Lord above when I heard:

"_**Matt, Helen Plum has left our Parish. She decided to find another 'church that doesn't have so many Penances. And, you'll be happy to know there's a bar fight where Helen goes every day. Apparently the **__former Mrs. Plum was arrested."_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxox_

_au_

_ar_

_not mine_

_thanks to Elaine for sticking with me thru this story, and for Tammie reading ahead. Ms Tammie came up with the Stark Raving Madwoman drink...so yeah thanks!_

_**This story is done...and The Making Of Helen Plum will probably be my last one where I've taken the liberty of making Helen's life hell.**_

_**(Probably)**_

_**Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts.**_


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